I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
