oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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