i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
