so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
