i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
