We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
