I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
