i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
