Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
