It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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