Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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