My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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