It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
