Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
