I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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