Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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