TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
