Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize