Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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