i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize