Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
