I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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