I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The air taste purple.
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