obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
