if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
