There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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