But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize