Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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