all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
