i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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