I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
