Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
