she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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