You're earring is so big in my mouth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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