I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My vagina is officially offended.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
