I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
