it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
