I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
