Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
