dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
