A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
