I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
