dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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