Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize