Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
