Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
