ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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