You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
