Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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