Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
