I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
