My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
