if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Success! We fucked roommates!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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