I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
