dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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