Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
