whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
