first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
