My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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