Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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