Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
