no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
