So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
